This is our best seller for a reason. Relaxed, tailored and ultra-comfortable, you’ll love the way you look in this durable, reliable classic 100% pre-shrunk cotton (heather gray color is 90% cotton/10% polyester, light heather gray is 98% cotton/2% polyester, heather black is 50% cotton/50% polyester) | Fabric Weight: 5.0 oz (mid-weight) Tip: Buying 2 products or more at the same time will save you quite a lot on shipping fees. You can gift it for mom dad papa mommy daddy mama boyfriend girlfriend grandpa grandma grandfather grandmother husband wife family teacher Its also casual enough to wear for working out shopping running jogging hiking biking or hanging out with friends Unique design personalized design for Valentines day St Patricks day Mothers day Fathers day Birthday More info 53 oz ? pre-shrunk cotton Double-needle stitched neckline bottom hem and sleeves Quarter turned Seven-eighths inch seamless collar Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
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The third reason I’m opting out is, well, I’m not really sure why I would have attendants other than tradition. As my colleague Elise Taylor pointed out in an article on what it means to be a bridesmaid in 2021, people have been griping about the role for centuries. She quoted a 1879 editorial in The New York Times: “It is generally admitted by thoughtful men that there must originally have been some good reason for the employment of groomsmen at wedding ceremonies which has now been totally forgotten. No one can point out any purpose which these accomplices in matrimony serve.” And unlike other seemingly useless or outdated traditions at weddings, like wearing white or processing down the aisle with your father or making cake cutting an event, I don’t feel any particular emotional pull toward this one.
My first reason is cowardice, plain and simple. The thought of choosing a handful of friends to stand next to me gives me hives. While I doubt there’s a mountain of people anxiously hoping they’ll make the cut, it’s still a potentially awkward situation that is repellent enough for me to avoid it altogether. There are enough stressors in the wedding planning process. On the flip side, I don’t want anyone up there reluctantly, wishing they could have saved some money on a dress. Once you’re asked to be an attendant, it’s pretty much obligatory. And obligation is something I’d like to keep out of my wedding at all costs. What could be less romantic? The second is that it’s expensive to both be a bridesmaid and have bridesmaids. There’s the bachelorette party, which often involves at least a plane flight. There’s the dress you’ll only ever wear once, no matter what anyone says. There are sometimes the hair and makeup costs and potentially bride-tribe merch. (I’ve never encountered this in my bridesmaid-ing, thank God.) Of course, none of this is mandatory (except in most cases the dress), but it’s often expected, and the average bridesmaid ends up spending $1,200 on one wedding. I’d rather kick this additional stress and spending off my to-do list.
By and large, I’m having a fairly traditional Protestant wedding: My sister-in-law who is a priest will officiate, I’ll wear white, and after dinner my guests will groove to “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.” But one area where I’ve diverged from tradition is in my decision not to have bridesmaids. I don’t have a grand reason behind this choice. I don’t think it’s somehow sexist to ask my friends to stand up there with me as an homage to the ancient Roman tradition of protecting the bride from kidnappers. I don’t worry that I’ll have a falling out with one of the people beside me and my photos will be ruined. In 2020 and 2021, more people scaled back or eliminated attendants due to COVID-19 as guest lists were smaller—so I’m part of a trend. But still I’m surprised at the strong feelings people have about this decision. My mom, for one: “You’re going to stand up there all alone?” she asked when I mentioned my choice. (I reminded her that my betrothed and my sister-in-law would be there with me and that everyone I love in the world would be just five yards away max.)
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