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Before my daughter arrived, I thought I knew what was going to happen. I talked to my friends and mom, hearing stories about latch and tongue tie problems, blocked milk ducts, and cluster feeding. However, when it happened, it was very different than I expected. Just 15 minutes after my emergency cesarean section—after I almost lost my daughter—a nurse told me to feed her, reminding me that I should try as soon as possible. I’m a bunch of wires — IV and heart rate monitor — and I can barely sit up, much less steer a newborn to the right spot on my breast, but I’ve tried my best. During those first days, I fed my daughter with yellow colostrum. I’ve dealt with cracked nipples and awkward latches, reminders from lactation coaches that if it hurts I’m not doing it right and that pacifiers, bottles, or – gosh Oh – ban – formula milk – can ruin our “breastfeeding journey” before it even does. start properly. My milk came in four days after giving birth, but my nipples didn’t stop bleeding. One morning, my baby spit up blood. This triggered a frantic call to the pediatrician, who assured me this was normal. But if it’s so normal why wasn’t I told that my baby spitting up blood is not a cause for concern? If it’s so normal, why didn’t anyone talk about it until it happened?
But the weirdest part of it all was the sheer frequency, seemingly bottomless depth of my child’s hunger. She would go for hours – 10 minutes on, 10 to 20 minutes off – her only sleep. The Disney Plus app just launched, and my daughter settled on my Boppy pillow, my husband brought water, yogurt, and food I could eat with one hand, we explored the classics together. My favorite childhood classic, Aladdin’s upbeat songs and The Little Mermaid’s bright colors numb, for a bit, mental and physical pain. I went through the entire catalog in a matter of weeks, finding myself in the midst of deep cuts like The Fox and the Hound and The Great Mouse Detective. And she still wants more. In consultation with Google, I read article after article saying that babies should feed every three to four hours and that “cluster feedings” should not last more than a day at a time. Why is my daughter so hungry, so much more hungry than the others?
The reality is that no breastfeeding mom in this country is set up for success. Even before my baby was born, I had many problems. I discovered that breast pumps are not covered by insurance. The Affordable Care Act supposedly made this illegal, but it turned out my plan was following the old rules (fun!). I will never forget when I called the company the insurance agent explained to me that they consider breast pumps a “luxury”. Hell is not as angry as an eight-month pregnant woman hearing a man say these words. But the point is, he wasn’t even completely wrong. How is it not a luxury when our country has nothing in the way of guaranteed parental leave? When we often argue that breastfeeding is “free,” how is it that women’s labor is not only unpaid, but completely worthless? Exclusive breastfeeding is a full-time job, however we expect people to do it outside of their jobs, not to mention the duties of caring for other children or even members of the family. elderly member of the family. With almost no social support, doing anything as laborious as breastfeeding is reserved for those with plenty of time. This past summer, the American Academy of Pediatrics even extended their recommendation to two years of exclusive breastfeeding. Many times we have been told about all the benefits of breastfeeding, but why aren’t we allowed to actually talk about how hard it is?
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